Been busy for a last few days. However, this is not what I want to talk about. Just a moment ago, I had a chance to be alone with an old acquaintance. I knew her around this time last year, not that well but we were friendly to each other. I’m not sure the exact dates, but she became stranger to me, not saying hi when we passed each other like usual. The conversation today goes like this.
_ Hi, J
10 secs of silence…
_ Hey J, did I do anything wrong to you?
_ I just have this feeling, that I might have did something wrong to you. It’s for a while now, and it seems like you try you avoid me. So I tried to figure out what I have done.
_ It’s not what you did, Phuc. It’s something you said that kinda rude.
_ What did you say again? ( I honestly did not hear clearly)
_ It’s something you said that were rude. I have to work.
The conversation ended there. This is not the first time it has happened though. A month ago, another Vietnamese acquaintance of mine said the exact same thing to me.
_ You know, I’m not feeling comfortable with the way you speak.
_ What do you mean by the way I speak? Can you give me an example? I don’t really understand it. ( I really want to understand, at least an example would help much)
And that’s the whole conversation. I did not pay much attention back there. Even until now, I don’t know how I can change. But one problem is getting clearer, my way of speaking might offend some people without my awareness. It has manifested not one, but many times without or without my knowledge. I’m not considerate enough. People usually don’t remember about the details of their bad experience, especially the conversation. They just keep the bad impression in their mind and try their best to stay away from them.
One cause that I can think of is that I assume everybody to have the same filter like I am. I might be protected from some words while other don’t. I can even be wrong about my own protection. I thought I have no trouble with people saying ” Fuck you” to me without bad intention. It happened a few days ago. I still notice a rise of anger within myself when listening to those words, even I know that it is said without any harm. If even I felt anger when one of my closest friend said it to me, why would I be surprised if some people were offended by what I’ve said?
Moral of the story: Try to stay away from bad kind of being funny. Avoid using bad words. Be aware to respect people and show that to them at all times.